mothers day.

mothers day is tomorrow and for me, i just cant get into it. i wish i could! im a mom now, it should be special and mooshy and all that, but its just not. thats another thing i didnt really consider doing the whole "single mom" thing. and yeah, its small. like, really REALLY small, but still. it was something i didnt even think about.

this will be my 3rd mothers day, but its just another sunday for me. i dont want THINGS, i want 2 hours to myself. i want a long shower where i can shave, exfoliate and wash my hair in the same shower instead of spreading that over several days/showers. i want to go to starbucks without flashing the barista because caleb is hanging off my shirt asking for everything in the short fridge display at his eye level. i want to go to barnes and noble and not have to go directly to the childrens area so he can play with the train set while i browse the kids book wondering if he needs yet another book (he always does! LOL).

2 hours. *sigh* heaven. a shower, a frap and a few minutes to browse the new fiction section. ooooooooh im getting tingly just thinking about the possibility!!

tomorrow though? not so much. im taking a power shower tonight after caleb goes to sleep wherein i'll have to be quick because i have at least one load of laundry that needs to go in as well. tomorrow, i'll be up around 6 so i can feed and entertain the munchkin for 3 hours before we can head to the zoo so i can chase him around for 2 hours, then swing through jack in the box for lunch so he can eat before he falls asleep in the car on the way home. i will cross my fingers that i'll be able to transfer him into bed and keep him asleep... so that he can nap for at least 45 mins before the entire family (20+ people/kids) descend on the house.

why are they coming over at nap time? that one is easy. because 1) no one asked me. and 2) my parents, who we have lived with since he was born, thought that'd be easiest for everyone else.

so when senator cranky pants gets up at 6:15am and doesnt get a good nap (his usual 2-3 hours) how happy do YOU think he's going to be with a house full or people? *sigh*

okay okay... im stressing about something that hasnt happened yet. things might go perfect tomorrow. but still. argh. i guess i just feel all "whatever" about it because its mothers day and no one has asked what i wanted... or wanted to do... or if i was cool with the plans that were made for me.

waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa. i know. pity party for me. i deserve it one day a year. i try not to bitch the rest of the year... but this day that is supposed to be for ALL moms, doesnt really feel like im included in that.