pack and play

so calebs been out of his crib since december when he started climbing out *grr* it was REALLY rough moving him to the big boy bed - he slept like crap for months. literally - MONTHS. then things got good and he wasnt getting out of bed at all!

now? since around his birthday? its all gone to crap again. he's out of bed 4-5 times! im SO over it. tonight i told him he wasnt acting like a big boy and he was showing me that he wasnt ready for a big boy bed. i told him if he got out of bed id bring his crib back into his room and he'd have to sleep there because only big boys can sleep in a big boy bed... little boys needed a crib.

and so HELP ME... if he gets out of bed again he's sleeping in the pack and play tomorrow. thats how fed up i am. its ridiculous! its like we've started over and i have NO clue what set off this regression but it sucks.

he's all about being a big boy now - he's THREE, he tells everyone he can do _____ because he's a big boy now. BS. he's going back in the crib.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand.... he just got out of the bed.

CRAP. i hate having to follow through. but so be it. PNP, here we come.

just need to vent for a minute.

my schedule is changing next week (well, hopefully next week!) so i'll start an hour earlier than i do now. which means that EVERYTHING in the morning routine has to happen an hour earlier. not usually a problem - but the whole "waking up and leaving the house dressed and fed" thing is throwing a wrench in it. this week is my practice week - all week we've been bumping up our time. monday we were 10 mins early, tuesday 20 mins early, today 40 mins early (go me!!) :)

ive also been trying to get caleb DOWN earlier at night to make getting up easier. makes sense, right? so why why WHY would my parents keep him at sea world until 8:00p tonight? ARGH! i just want to pull my hair out. he should be in his jammies with a 5 min warning to read books. :(

i mean, i know they had a great time and i know he'll be tired (when he finally settles down)... and i wouldnt want them NOT to go. but just... UGH. tomorrow morning is going to be just lovely when i have to wake him up to keep up with the "lets get moving early while its not crucial" system. he's like me. e's not a morning person to begin with and when you have to wake him up its nasty.

*SIGH* pity party for one.

boy rambling :)

so lately caleb has gotten attached to some adorable phrases. :) just in the last week or so, almost everything ends with, "right?" yesterday my cousins new puppy peed on my mom and everyone laughed and he turned to me mid-laugh and said, "thats so so funny, right?" :)

my cousins were over and all the kids were playing with squirt guns and i had to tell them all (several times) to keep them outside. finally i told them if they squirt them inside i would put them in the trash. caleb promptly turned to the others (ages 12 and 7) and said, "no skirt inside of the house or mommy put it ina trash!" then he turned to me with his big blue eyes and said, "but not mine, right?" ROFL

and he's learning the concept of "sometimes". i'll tell him, "we get pasts for dinner tonight!" and he'll say "sometimes me like pasta, sometimes me no like pasta. right now me no like pasta." and thats that.

i really need to whip out the baby book and write these things down *sigh*

pictures - 3y

here we go! pics from the last few months :)

at the park last week :)


close up from our day at the park :D


he found a cool seat at the lake where we went to feed the ducks :D



on the tea cups at disneyland with grandma and grandpa (NOT mommy!) :)


his new big boy bike!


happy birthday!

*ahem*

look at me GO! im updating... again.

caleb had his 3 year well baby visit and his doc confirmed that he's perfect. so in case anyone was wondering, the doc said he was :) and my guesses were right on! 36lb 15oz - so 1 ounce shy of 37lbs, and 38.25" tall. not too shabby!

he also got 2 shots that he really didnt want to get - but he took them like a champ. when the doc said she could do one in each arm or both in one arm, he totally rationalized it and said he wanted both in one arm so, "one arm yes owie, and one arm no owie."

see? genius. :D

THREE!!!!

yowzas... where did THREE years go?? how on earth is my little guy three years old?

wow. so. he's three. we have his well baby visit on tuesday so i'll have official stats then, but im guessing he's about 38.5" tall, and about 37lbs. we'll see!

he's talking up a storm and making sense. its crazy! he starts conversations and keeps them going. "hey hey, know what?" is something i hear ALL day :) and "sometimes me like _____, sometimes me no like ______. right now me like/no like ______." LOL

papa and nana got caleb a big kid bike (with training wheels, of course - for now...) for his birthday and he goes SUPER fast on it. to the point where im actually saying "whoa!! slow down!" and meaning it. he's a quick little dude. and he has to do everything himself. he's at that stage where he has to at least TRY to do everything himself - which makes the most mundane tasks take three times as long. but you can actually SEE him "getting it". the wheels are crankin. i usually only have to show or help him once, then he picks it up.

he has blossomed at his new preschool. its insane to see how much he's grown in 6 months. his vocabulary has skyrocketed. he says things like, "its my turn now. you have a turn when me done." now. and he does take turns! he cleans up after eating, and he puts his listening ears on - with sound effects and everything! he's getting to know the concept of "far far away" and "long long time" :) whenever we get in the car i hear "school/zoo/grannys is far far away." and when we go out to eat i hear "it taking a long long time for me to have dinner." (even if we havent ordered yet LOL)

he loves to share things with us too, which is beautiful to see. he had a red vine the other day and he went to each of us and shared one bite (just ONE bite!) with everyone *sigh* thats so awesome. :) and he loves to give hugs. i always say, "who is the best hugger in the whole wide world?" and he KNOWS its him. he really does give amazing hugs, and kisses too. i have to remind myself to be a giving with hugs as he is... i just dont think about it that often, but he always gets a few in... i just need to hand some out as well :)

this summer he's got back to back swim lessons with papa (my shift at work is too late to take him, so papa volunteered. it took a lot of arm twisting, im sure! LOL) so that'll be fun! 4 weeks in a pool? waa hoo!! we'll also be doing a lot of bike riding and trips to the aquarium, zoo and sea world - since we now have passes for all of them! it'll be never ending fun :) the fact that its all educational is just icing on the cake. just going to the aquarium he can identify angel fish, moon jellies, garabaldi, leopard sharks, lion fish, zebra sharks, black tipped reef sharks, groupers.... and a few more, but i cant think of them. how cool is that?! :)

its hard to believe that three years ago i was wondering when i would be able to go home from the hospital and start life with my new little boy - and here i am watching him on the video monitor playing with his woody doll, "you're my favorite deputy!" over and over and over. incredible.

incredible.

due date!

three years ago today - i was due with the little dude. too bad he didnt get the notice! :D

hand foot mouth made its way through the boy - he had spots on his feet the worst :( however, i dont think he noticed it other than to point them out when he got his shoes on. they didnt seem to bother him at all! yay! disneyland was AWESOME. we had SO much fun, and uncle jason got to join us :) he did the carousel 7 times, the tea cups 3 times, dumbo twice and then buzz lightyear, jungle cruise and the storybook boat ride one time each. AND he got to meet minnie mouse (not mickey mouse, JUST minnie mouse - as he's quick to point out) :)

his teacher, miss jenna, left CA to move alllllll the way to tenessee. no one asked me if that was okay. its not. we LOVE jenna. i mean, he's been there 6 months and im a mess thinking about miss jenna leaving the state :( however - we've found each other on FB, so we can keep in touch. she loves caleb and i know he'll love to see her picture every now and then. and the teacher they have coming in to replace her (well, no one could ever REPLACE her, but you know...) is actually a friend of hers who SHE says we'll really like. and i trust her. :)

its cute, caleb tells anyone who will listen, "miss jenna uh move to tenessee." LOL

my parents, on the other hand, are falling apart. mom had not one but TWO flare ups of her diverticilitis, and dad fell off his bike and broke three ribs. as in - broke them clear through. OUCH. so both of them have been pretty much useless the last few weeks as they heal. :( they are much better now - just in time for their (much needed and deserved!) vacation! waa hoo!!

we've got party plans in action... so thats fun. AND we counted up the change in his "college fund" jug and it came out to be $870. HELLO!?!?!?! insane. :D

other than that - we're just trying to keep him busy and active! swimming lessons start in august... so that'll be fun. till then we'll be at the zoo, parks, aquarium, sea world and the beach! :)

lovely.

well... there have been signs up at school for more than a week saying it was going around, so i should have seen it coming. but this weekend when caleb started saying his throat hurt, i wrote it off to him having EVERYTHING hurt in order to get a bandaid. but when i saw a little blister on his hand, everything clicked.

hand foot mouth.

oooooooooooooooooh yeah. and its about as much fun as you think. he has ulcer type sores at the back of his throat, and little blisters on the palm of his hand and a few on the heel and sole of his foot. *sigh* he's not acting sick, in fact he's running around like a hooligan and eating like a champ :) but its off to the pediatrician we go this morning.

well, not "we". my work doesnt have appt time any more, and we have to give 48 hours notice when we need time off, and since i didnt see this coming on friday - i have to go to work today. so papa is taking him to the ped with a list of questions and information for the doctor. the great thing is that when i called the preschool this morning - they said he can come back whenever the doctor says he can. if the doc says he can go back today, he can go back today... so since this started on saturday, he should be good to go back to school tomorrow.

which is fantastic! because we've got plans to go to disneyland later this week :D

no regrets.

about a year ago, I did a "friend detox" (thanks for the term, Oprah!) and before that I'd always feel anxious about confronting this friend and sharing my feelings... I let myself be walked on (and vented to other friends!) for far too long. once I had Caleb I started putting my priorities in check and grew a pair. I became an advocate for MY family, and in turn discovered that while she hadn't been the friend I needed, I hadn't been the friend she needed.

the difference is that I decided to do something about it. don't think it was easy for me. I stressed for weeks about how to do it without actually doing it. I'm very non- confrontational, though I'm a big talker! LOL I finally chose the cowards way out and defriended her on a social networking site right before I was leaving town.

then the shit hit the fan and I found myself sharing ALL of my feelings, and not only telling her what I was missing from our friendship and how her actions hurt me... but how I hadn't been a very good friend to her either and she needed and deserved more than that.

I seiously had massive anxiety about the whole exchange. I saved the emails and poured over them, taking them apart, coming up with alternate replies in my head - what I meant to say, what I forgot to mention, whatever.

just about a month ago I found those emails and reread them and again went over how I'd reply differently now - or not at all. but something weird happened. I realized I didn't feel anxious. I realized that for the first time in YEARS I felt like I'd truly done the right thing with this friend. I feel nothing but absolute relief when I think about how she's not part of my life any more.

I want nothing but the best for her. I'd heard through former mutual friends that she was having dome troubles, but improving her life and I was genuinely concerned, and then happy for her. but I was 100% comfortable not knowing.

I don't look for her at the grocery store, I don't think about what I'd say if I ran into her, I don't look back and want to change any part ofhow it went down.

I'm not angry or sad or proud or anything... I'm ambivalent. and I'm not even sure I spelled that right. but it's weird to not feel anything about this "friend".

it's weird, but good. I have no regrets.

this has been on my mind the last few days due to a convo I had with another friend, and I purge my words better in this format. so there ya go. outta my system. :D


-- Post From My iPhone

mothers day.

mothers day is tomorrow and for me, i just cant get into it. i wish i could! im a mom now, it should be special and mooshy and all that, but its just not. thats another thing i didnt really consider doing the whole "single mom" thing. and yeah, its small. like, really REALLY small, but still. it was something i didnt even think about.

this will be my 3rd mothers day, but its just another sunday for me. i dont want THINGS, i want 2 hours to myself. i want a long shower where i can shave, exfoliate and wash my hair in the same shower instead of spreading that over several days/showers. i want to go to starbucks without flashing the barista because caleb is hanging off my shirt asking for everything in the short fridge display at his eye level. i want to go to barnes and noble and not have to go directly to the childrens area so he can play with the train set while i browse the kids book wondering if he needs yet another book (he always does! LOL).

2 hours. *sigh* heaven. a shower, a frap and a few minutes to browse the new fiction section. ooooooooh im getting tingly just thinking about the possibility!!

tomorrow though? not so much. im taking a power shower tonight after caleb goes to sleep wherein i'll have to be quick because i have at least one load of laundry that needs to go in as well. tomorrow, i'll be up around 6 so i can feed and entertain the munchkin for 3 hours before we can head to the zoo so i can chase him around for 2 hours, then swing through jack in the box for lunch so he can eat before he falls asleep in the car on the way home. i will cross my fingers that i'll be able to transfer him into bed and keep him asleep... so that he can nap for at least 45 mins before the entire family (20+ people/kids) descend on the house.

why are they coming over at nap time? that one is easy. because 1) no one asked me. and 2) my parents, who we have lived with since he was born, thought that'd be easiest for everyone else.

so when senator cranky pants gets up at 6:15am and doesnt get a good nap (his usual 2-3 hours) how happy do YOU think he's going to be with a house full or people? *sigh*

okay okay... im stressing about something that hasnt happened yet. things might go perfect tomorrow. but still. argh. i guess i just feel all "whatever" about it because its mothers day and no one has asked what i wanted... or wanted to do... or if i was cool with the plans that were made for me.

waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa. i know. pity party for me. i deserve it one day a year. i try not to bitch the rest of the year... but this day that is supposed to be for ALL moms, doesnt really feel like im included in that.